The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
