I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
