But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
