no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
