He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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