we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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