Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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