omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
