We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
