he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
