I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
