he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize