I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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