you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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