I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
