So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
