ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i was born a porn star she said
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Dicks are not precious.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
