so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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