I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
