The maid of honor just puked.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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