Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
