you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
