Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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