If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
