we have officially lost it.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think I died a long time ago.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
