Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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