she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
