4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
