You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize