I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
