i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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