I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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