Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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