so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
