I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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