And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Randomize
