Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
420 ftw
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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