im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Come on in and take your pants off
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