He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
