Ambien. No doubt about it.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
