He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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