people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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