its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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