It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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