Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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