Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
