I'm eating all of the evidence.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
