Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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