How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
