This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
