I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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