plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
