No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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