The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken