Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
two words: eviction party
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.