so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
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Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
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Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.