I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class