Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Randomize
