I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Two words: nipple clamps
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