You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
