She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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