I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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