You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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