Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
